Angels in the slips

Often when I arrive home from work I get greeted at the door by our dog, Pixie and my son, Matthew (now 11). They really do a number on me, a kinda one, two combo. First of all as I unlock and open our front door Pixie will come running up to me. She doesn’t just wag her tail she wags her whole body. I’m always so overwhelmed by her greeting and then Matthew who is hiding behind the door will jump out and shout as loud as he can at me. Talk about a defib machine, my heart (ab) normally jumps up into my throat and stays there pulsating at a supersonic rate for at least five minutes. I fall for this trick as regular as clockwork.

Of course Matthew wants me to play ‘something’ with him. It might be cricket, soccer, rugby, chess, a board game or any other game that we have cooked up amongst the two of us. So after I have been ‘woken up’ from the rigors of my work day and then have slipped into something more comfortable we go out and put in some playtime with each other.

One evening while playing cricket in the parking lot of the restaurant opposite our house I happened to notice the statues behind the fence in the nursery. The restaurant is on the premises of the nursery. They were statues of large angels and it was almost as though they were set out as slip fielders behind Matthew while he batted. Oh how my heart longed to see the real angels that I know are all around us. I looked up at the palm trees whose branches were swaying in the wind and I drifted off for a while in my imagination trying to think what heaven is like and what it would be like to meet and see Jesus for the first time…….oh I can only imagine.

Of course then Matthew shouted to me, “When are you gonna throw the ball?” I came out of my reverie. I often feel like leaving all this pain and suffering behind and just be with Jesus but then I see all those around me whom I love and I wanna be there for them as much as I possibly can and most of all I want to do God’s will.

The apostle Paul put it so well in his letter to the Philippians;
21 For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better. 22 But if I live, I can do more fruitful work for Christ. So I really don’t know which is better. 23 I’m torn between two desires: I long to go and be with Christ, which would be far better for me. 24 But for your sakes, it is better that I continue to live. 25 Knowing this, I am convinced that I will remain alive so I can continue to help all of you grow and experience the joy of your faith. 26 And when I come to you again, you will have even more reason to take pride in Christ Jesus because of what he is doing through me. (Philippians 1:21-26)

That night while saying goodnight to Matt I asked him if he really enjoys playing cricket with his klutzy dad. I seriously lack talent in the bat and ball department of sport. He kinda gave me this funny look as if to say, “Now what kinda question is that?” When he replied he just said, “Of course I do dad!” He just then asked me to pray for him and there oftentimes wells up within me so many emotions and such a feeling of gratitude that God has given me this opportunity of getting to know and love Matthew as a father. God teaches me so many times through the relationship I have with my son as to how He feels about me as His son. For now I can only imagine what it will be like when one day in His time all His promises will be fulfilled.

I Can Only Imagine by Mercy Me

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By your side

I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When your face
Is before me
I can only imagine

I can only imagine

[Chorus:]
Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine

I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When that day comes
And I find myself
Standing in the Son

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever
Forever worship You
I can only imagine

I can only imagine

[Chorus]

I can only imagine [x2]

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever, forever worship you

I can only imagine




LoCTY!!

Father and Son

Hi Everyone,

So about a week and a half ago Matthew and I went on a Father and Son camp which was organized by Grant Hopkins from the Durbanville Methodist church.

The only reason we got to go is because God really wanted us to. We went with three very good friends of mine, Peter, Clint and Grant W and their sons. If it wasn’t for God’s love working in my friends hearts we would never have been able to get there.

You see one of my friends told us about the camp, another paid for us and then another one drove us there. So all I had to do was get my pride sorted out to accept God’s blessings that He was holding out to me, waiting for me to accept His love. Of course I have this pride thing so wrapped and sorted by now that it really ain’t any problem I’m so goooooood at dying to self I just do it and feel no pain what so ever. Yeah right, who am I trying to convince here, me or you! Of course you know the first person we deceive is always ourselves. So I wrestled and grappled with my pride even after I’d said yes to all the graceful and loving offers of my friends and finally came to a place of peace and acceptance as Jesus and the Holy Spirit just prepared my heart and spirit to enjoy this day and a half camp.

Aren’t we all so like that. God is constantly holding out His hand through the death of His son, Jesus Christ offering us untold blessings, salvation, adoption, fellowship, glorification, never to cry again, to live in heaven in perfection without sin for eternity, peace, mercy, hope, love, grace……..I could go on but I hope you get the picture. And then what gets in the way, yup you guessed it our pride. I mean we can sort out our own lives and we know exactly what is going on and we have everything planned and every contingency covered. We know exactly what is going to happen during the course of any day, we know what is going to happen to us in the future……..yeah right…. how foolish we are.

So Clint came to pick us up with his boys Luke and Cane on Wednesday at about 3.30pm and we headed off to Rocklands just outside of Simonstown. For an action packed time of fellowship and for us dads to enjoy our sons and for our sons to enjoy their fathers. It was such a blessed time. We played indoor soccer (till 10pm at night, until the dads legs almost dropped off), indoor cricket, swimming (brrrrrrr!!), climbed on the climbing wall, went for a hike, a treasure hunt, saw penguins and baboons, worshipped, braaied, super tubed, visited the Navy Museum.

The most amazing thing was just the time we spent with each other. Matthew only really asked me one thing, to play indoor soccer with him. As tired and aching as my body was I always tried my best to say yes. Although sometimes I initially said no, then there were always a few ‘good’ friends around to convince me to play.

The other awesome thing is that while we were on the camp my step-daughter gave birth to her son Aronne Adam Bell. So I got a call just after 6am from Allie on Thursday morning telling me that I’m a grandpa. Needless to say the guys really pulled my (sore) leg on that fact. Didn’t get me out of playing any indoor soccer though.

I realized God so much wants to just spend time with us. If we accept Christ as our saviour we are adopted as sons and daughters and God is our Father. Right now God just wants to spend time with you. We most of the time don’t really see all the opportunities He gives us.

If you want a quick look into God the Father’s heart go read Luke chapter 14 verses 11 to 31, where Jesus tells the parable of the prodigal son. Charles Dickens refers to it as the greatest short story ever told.

Here is a version of that story done in song by John Waller.

Still Calls Me Son

I drug his name through godless places
And I've known shame that no child of his should know
I've seen pain on broken faces
Beyond all thought of hope
I was just too far from home
Still I always wondered when I closed my eyes


After all I've done
Could he run to me?
Would he kiss my face?
Could he even look at me?
After where I've been should he take me back?
I would understand I've disgraced him
But it would be amazing
If he still calls me son


With nothing left for me to bring him
I left my pride and turned my heart toward home
I saw my home on the horizon
And from a distance I saw my Father
Watching for his own with forgiving eyes


After all I'd done
He just ran to me
Then he kissed my face
He would not let go of me
After where I'd been
He just welcomed me
I didn't understand
But he put his robe on me
It was so amazing
That he still called me son


One day as I breathe my last
And I know my days on earth have ended
When every hour is spent
I will close my eyes in amazement
And I'll hear angels
They'll be singing Amazing Grace

Cause he will run to me
And he will kiss my face
He will not let go of me
After where I've been
He will welcome me
I won't understand
How he'll put his robe on me
It will be amazing
That he'll still call me son
Amazing grace how sweet the sound
When he calls me son
I once was lost but now I'm found
Cause he calls me Son

Go listen to the song at www.myspace.com/johnwaller

Trying music video of a song for the first time.Probably work a lot better for users with really faster/broader connections. Might not work too well for South African users. Also might link to other so called related videos which might not be so good. Checked this once or twice but don't know to tweak the html code 100% yet. Just don't play the other "related" videos if they come up. Just please give me feedback.



LoCTY!!!

PS. A huge thank you to Grant H for organizing this camp and for the fellowship of all the other dads and their sons.

The Father Heart of God

Precious Saints !!!!

I most times dunno how to convey how God 'speaks' to me. Sat on the bus next to a young guy (18) the other day and he was so excited as to how God has been speaking to him through scripture. You know I can imagine the looks and comments I will get when I tell some people that God speaks to me...."Really, have you been eating too much green cheese lately......Okay buddy who's your dealer? That must be some really serious stuff you're sniffing...... er what did you say your name was, Napoleon!"

So last night Allie went out with her sister and daughter to movies leaving me at home with Matthew. We had a blast! We watched a recording of Heartlines while we ate, this just happened to be about a father who runs away from home 'cause he lost his job and could not bear to tell his family. Then we played 'cars', car playing was interrupted from time to time by kung-poo (our version of kung-foo, which really stinks!) and telling really corny jokes. Man we were rolling on the floor doubled up in laughter. Then we went to bed (parents bed) and I read Mattie a story. When I'd read a bit to him he went to his own bed and I tucked him in and he asked me to pray for him. I prayed out loud and just thanked God for giving us our son and the time spent together and for His son Jesus who gave His life for us so that we could be with the Father and Son for eternity. Wow (heart bursting moment)talk about being in the classroom of the King.....

So yes God has been speaking to my heart (deep,deep down) and spirit about his father heart.God teaches me so much through the children (they are really His) that he has put in my life, to bless me. What have I done to deserve it, nothing really, its all His grace. Adam and Lisa are way adults now, making their own choices in life. You know when things are rocky and life just kinda is not going well you can always reach out to God and he will steady your ship and correct your course because He is your daddy.

I don't think there is a single one of us out there who have not been affected by our fathers. The good ones, the bad ones, the indifferent ones, absent ones, the ones who have died......and so many descriptions you can put in there for your fathers. One of the biggest obstacles for us humans with regards to a relationship with God is how our relationship with our father's are or have been.

I wish I could so easily say that I'm such a good father but often I'm not. I really mess up some times and I constantly need forgiveness all round.

At one stage in my life I really thought I'd blown any chance I'd have of fathering a child but God provided me with a chance. Allie so wanted us to have a child together and we were so happy when she became pregnant but then after 10 weeks she miscarried and we were devastated, we had named him(Allie was sure he was a boy) Daniel, I know now we'll meet him in heaven one day. We weren't Christians then so we did not take our grief to God, I just took my doubt and anger to Him. A couple of months later Allie became pregnant again and this time 9 months later on the exact due date Matthew was born.

There are so many nights when I'm the only one awake in our household and all I can do is look with wonder and awe at the family that God has given me. It's a good time to talk to God and just humbly thank Him, also just to ask for His grace, mercy and love for those of our family sleeping inside our house and those sleeping outside under another roof somewhere.

You know no matter what we like to say, think or do, we know that deep within us is a need to be deeply and unconditionally loved by a loving father, only God truly and fully satisfies that.

Yet some people accepted him and put their faith in him. So he gave them the right to be the children of God. They were not God's children by nature or because of any human desires. God himself was the one who made them his children. (John 1:12&13)
God's Spirit doesn't make us slaves who are afraid of him. Instead, we become his children and call him our abba (daddy) Father.God's Spirit makes us sure that we are his children. (Romans 8:15&16)

You Never Let Go (Matt Redman)
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won’t turn back
I know You are near
And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

Chorus:
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We’ll live to know You here on the earth

Chorus:

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

LoCTY !!!!!!

PS And now I'm just gonna go and cry somewhere.........

My Father Who Was On Earth

Precious Saints !!!!!

Last week was pretty quiet at work, most of the people were away on holiday and those that had pitched seemed pretty much in a holiday mood. Our mainframe systems were down. So I'm just catching up on reading a few emails. There was this one devotion about missing loved ones over the festive season. When out of nowhere without warning there came this tremendous pain of loss for my dad. I just hurt so bad and I cried and cried and just missed him soooo much, I wished that I actually had got to know him a lot better while he was alive.

A whole stack of memories just came flooding back, some good, some bad. Sitting by the window when I was a little boy waiting for his car to come around the corner on Friday nights. He would be away from home the whole week working at such exotic places like Stompneesbaai, Piketberg, Grabouw and Bredarsdorp. Then I would run down and open the big back gate so he could pull his car in. He'd be dog tired and would pay me to "iron out" the creases on his forehead as he sat down and relaxed on the couch. The way we started having a cup of tea and biscuits together in the evenings (I was a teenager then)and he would tell me very entertaining and amusing stories about his day at work. He'd changed jobs by then so I at least got to see him a bit more. How he was always around to help out his klutzy son, who couldn't knock together two pieces of wood. That was after I got married. Fixing up and helping me buy my first car, a 1970 Mini for R700. Always being there for me but not really being able to show and tell me how much he loves me and I also did not know how to show and tell him of my love for him. His way of showing love was helping me out and doing stuff for me.

Then the emphysema took hold and this incredibly hard working, (I've never ever seen anybody work as hard as my dad) energetic and impatient man struggled just to dress himself and tie his shoelaces. Any visits had to be carefully planned as my mom and dad would prepare and rest before we visited. The weekend before he passed away we went to visit him and he was in bed with the flu. He asked me, "Have I been a good father?" I answered that he had been the best father that he could be. He had known for some time that he was dying and did not have much time left. I could see(and somehow feel) that he was reading his bible and really searching. I was not a Christian then and all I knew was the teachings of the Jehovah's Witnesses. Somehow I knew to leave him on his own while he searched. I could not really help him and I knew that the stuff that I knew would not help him in his search.

Then a week later on a Friday evening I got a frantic phone call from my mom. My dad had fallen off the bed and he was really struggling to breathe (he had not gotten over the flu) and she had put him on oxygen. Then came the battle to get a doctor around to them, to keep my mom calm, to organise an ambulance. By the time Allie and I got there my dad had slipped into a coma. An ambulance eventually pitched up at about 11.30pm. I got in the ambulance with my dad, he was making these horrible sounds as he struggled so desperately to breathe. All I could do was "iron out" the creases on his forehead. The ambulance took him to this run down emergency unit at Conradie hospital. Wounded criminals handcuffed to the beds, paint peeling off the ceilings, Capil asbestos heaters propped up on bricks,doctors so disinterested they hardly seemed human. There was basically nothing they could do for my dad. No matter where I walked in that emergency unit I could hear him, gasping, rasping, gulping to get air into his lungs. It was a truly haunting sound.

Saturday sometime (can't remember exactly when) I had to phone my older brother (Clive). I just remember that he had a choice of two flights from Jo'burg to Cape Town. The first one was a midnight flight and it would get him to Cape Town early hours of Sunday morning. I said he shouldn't hassle too much and take the flight that would get him to Cape Town at 10.30am(or there abouts). I was wrong! Our dad passed away at 8am that Sunday morning, he never came out of the coma. I really should have told Clive to get that earlier flight. It was really hard to tell him when we picked him up at the airport that dad had already passed away. We just went to the hospital and saw his body in the morgue. I think I ironed out his creases for the last time, can't fully remember what we did. My boet was really cut up. I'd never really seen him like that. I know we sat on the grass for a while at the hospital, can't remember what we said to each other, even if we said anything at all.

Of course there is always all the other stuff that happens when there is the death in the family and Clive was a tremendous help. Ja so dad died 11 years ago, Matthew my son is 9 years old. I know my dad would have loved him to bits. There are always those few things that I carry in relation to my dad's death. I'm getting better at letting it all go and trusting God that he is in heaven but sometimes it suddenly just all comes flooding back and then I find a place to weep in my weakness on the shoulder of Jesus Christ our Lord.

It used to be really hard for me to go to hospitals after that and its only after I became a Christian that this experience and the also the death of my mother-in-law the following year that has helped me to minister to people in hospitals, that is when (our eternal daddy)God calls me. Oh yeah that old Mazda was my dads' car, Allie named it after him; Stanley. Somebody shortly after my dads death told me that you only start growing up when your dad dies I haven't really got a comment on that one. I still just simply miss him and want to see him again, maybe have a cup of tea and chat 'bout what he's been doing.

I did not really want to put this together and send it out but somehow I've been convicted to do so. So there it is.

When this happens - when our perishable earthly bodies have been transformed into heavenly bodies that will never die - then at last the scriptures will come true:

"Death is swallowed up in victory. (Isaiah 25:8)
O death, where is your victory?
O death, where is your sting?" (Hosea 13:14)

For sin is the sting that results in death, and the law gives sin its power. How we thank God, who gives us victory over sin and death through Jesus Christ our Lord! (1 Corinthians 15:54-57)

My Hope Is You - Third Day (Live Version)

To You, O Lord, I lift my soul
In You, O God, I place my trust
Do not let me be put to shame
Nor let my enemies triumph over me

My hope is You
Show me Your ways
Guide me in truth
In all my days
My hope is You

I am, O Lord, filled with Your love
You are, O God, my salvation
Guard my life and rescue me
My broken spirit shouts
My mended heart cries out

My hope is You.......
(Third Day 1997 taken from Psalm 25)



LoCTY !!!!!

PS Okay John I did it!

Focus

To The Precious Saints !!!!

Max Lucado tells the story about when he was a little boy and he went fishing with his dad. They rowed out quite far and Max couldn't see the shoreline. Suddenly a storm came up and the water become really rough and the wind was howling. Whenever Max looked out at the water he felt terribly afraid but when he looked at his big strong dad he felt assured and unafraid. You see his dad was big and strong and he knew exactly what to do and where he was going as he rowed their little boat to shore. Max decided that he'd rather just continue to look at his dad and feel confident that his dad would save them then look at the swirling water around them and be afraid.
We must be like that. We must focus on God the Father in all we do and all we go through. This life is full of distractions that will blur our focus and many times shift it totally away. That is the work of Satan who plays on our weak and sinful nature. We must know this that we are in a battle every day of our lives and the outcome of this battle has eternal consequences.
However God has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ (the Lamb of God) and Jesus has left us with the helper, His Holy Spirit and Jesus is constantly interceding for us to His Father.
This focus on God was so important that it is the first of the ten commandments for the Jewish nation in the wilderness. This first commandment was summed up in Deuteronomy 6:4 & 5 "Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength." When Jesus was here on earth he said that this first law and that you love your neighbour as yourself summed up and encompassed the whole law.
Today whatever you are going through, whatever you are doing keep your focus on God. Know all that He has already done for you, what He is doing for you now and what He will do for you in the future. And then more then that in this battle fight for your family, your friends your church because God wants you to stand firm and fight. But not in your own strength He wants you to draw your strength from Him.
Then as I looked over the situation, I called together the leaders and the people and said to them, "Don't be afraid of the enemy! Remember the Lord, who is great and glorious, and fight for your friends, your families and your homes!" (Nehemiah 4:14)
So never cease praying and encouraging each other and I leave you with this prayer from Paul to the church at Ephesus. When I first read this again three years ago(the last time I'd read it was 12 years before that as a JW, it did not have the same impact on me then) on the bus I wanted to shout it out to everyone on the bus, it just blew me away(and still does).
When I think of the wisdom and scope of God's plan, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father the creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious unlimited resources he will give you mighty inner strength through his Holy Spirit. And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts as you trust in him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God's marvellous love. And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high and how deep his love really is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is so great you will never fully understand it. Then you will be filled with the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Now glory be to God! By his mighty power at work within us, he is able to accomplish infinitely more than we could ever dare to ask or hope. May he be given glory in the church and in Christ Jesus forever and ever through endless ages. Amen (Ephesians 3:14-21)

Can we get an Amen? Or are you too busy, too under pressure, going through something, couldn't really be bothered, somebody has hurt you, angry with someone, angry with the church or angry with God. Just adjust your focus back to the Father and fight to keep it there. He knows you better than you know yourself!

LoCTY!!!!!!