God's Hug

Precious Saints!!!!

So there I was on a Wednesday morning at work feeling grateful that our son’s (Adam my step son actually) operation on his lung was successful. He seemed to be starting on his way to recovery. Today he was going in for a checkup after coming out of hospital this past Monday. Then a phone call from Allie. Adam had to go back into hospital and had to have a further procedure done to him as his lung had pulled out of position again. Oh God what now, why are you allowing this to happen?

A little bit later after I’d transferred the funds to the hospital to effect payment, yeah no money no treatment, no matter how much pain. Ever heard of the Hypocritical Oath? I then sent out a prayer request for Adam. All of a sudden I had this all consuming feeling of loss, it was really crushing and I didn’t now how to deal with it. Eventually I went to the toilet and just wept before God and cried out to Jesus to have mercy on Adam. He is still so young and he wants to do so many things to give you glory oh Jesus, have mercy.

When I came back to my office I sent out a prayer request(for myself) to some of my close friends and phoned one of them and my buddy just encouraged me. Shortly after that one of my colleagues came by to pick up an account which had to be paid. He asked me how I’m doing and (still feeling quite shattered and fragile) I told him about Adam. He listened and commiserated with me. Then just as he was walking out of the office he turned back and said, “I think I must give you a hug.” So he came back and gave me a solid hug. I felt like it was God saying, “Don’t worry whatever happens its all part of my plan. I love you and I love Adam too with a love you cannot even imagine you are my children.” I was just quietly blown away by my colleagues show of love and the way God worked through him to touch my heart.

Well that evening we went to visit Adam in hospital along with a few friends and my buddy Clint also came along. Just before we left we prayed for Adam and Clint prayed for our family. Adam is such a witness to me of quiet and powerful faith as he praises God through all this.

Just know this sometimes it’s just a listening ear, a smile, a handshake, a hug, a prayer, it may seem such a little thing to you, you may even feel self conscious or stupid doing these little acts of kindness but it is probably just the thing that God wants you to do at the time.

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. (Ephesians 2:10)

Here is a song 4 U by Jeremy Camp. His first wife died of ovarian cancer when she was 23 and he 22. He subsequently remarried and now has two young daughters. In this song he reflects on the journey that God has taken him on so far.

Beyond Measure (Jeremy Camp)

The fog has finally cleared to see,
The beautiful life you’ve given me
To feel the breeze of my newborn’s gentle breath
With one to walk hand in hand,
To share this life that you have plannedIt’s like a storybook with dreams
That are meant to see every next step is an extraordinary scene

[CHORUS]
I know that I’ve been,
Given more than beyond measure,
I come alive when,
I see beyond my fears,
I know that I’ve been given more than earthly treasure,
I come alive whenI’ve broken down and given you control

I’ve faced a great tragedy,
But have seen the works of what you bring
A display of faith that you give,
I don’t know if I will ever understand
The depth of what it is you’ve done inside,
But I know that I won’t find any worth apart from you
Everything that I have
Has been given so unselfishly
And shown that even when I don’t deserve
You always show the fullness of your love

LoCTY!!!!!!!

TAKE(me)AWAY

Hiya Saints !!!!!

'Bout two weeks ago, got home from work on a Friday evening. Allie & Mattie wanted to get Steers burgers. My mind and body had already gone into shut down mode and I was really not keen to go anywhere. So I tried a few feeble excuses, too tired to think up any good ones and when that didn't work I thought I'd just act self righteously miserable. 'Lookit me I'm such a martyr dontcha just feel so really sorry for me!'

Well off we went to Steers which was all of about two minutes drive away, too close to even call it round the corner. While standing in Steers waiting for our order I started to feel less sorry for myself and actually started to be fascinated by and enjoy the people around me. I was kinda standing behind this glass door when I looked out through it. The combination of the setting sun, clouds and glass all just kinda combined for a beautiful sight that really touched my soul and spirit. Suddenly this strong feeling rose up within me. What if Jesus comes now, right at this very moment? It was such a strong feeling I felt like running out of the building and looking up towards the sky. But I didn't, people might think I'm looking for UFO's or doing a Chicken Little impression and what if I missed my order! Oh yeh I've really got my priorities sooo sorted.

That feeling just kinda stayed with me for the whole evening. So you can call me crazy for believing that Jesus is coming soon, like tomorrow or maybe in the next thousand years or so but am I really? How do you feel about it? I know some of you out there don't even think at all about this. But you have a choice either He is coming or He isn't. The word of God says He is coming and this word has stood the test of time for 3,500 years and has stood out as the shining light of truth. I bet you that you cannot make sense of this world unless you refer to the makers manual, His word the bible. So if there is even just a slim chance of this being true wouldn't you be more crazy if you didn't check it out personally for yourself.

You know the only hope that this world has is in Jesus Christ. I lived for forty years (yeh my wandering in the desert period!) without hope before I met my saviour and I was such a massive skeptic. But the love of God just came into my life and changed me forever, for eternity. Oh yeh and He is still waiting for you to come to Him with His arms wide open. So if you don't know Jesus, feel far away from Him, feel down, lost, broken, hurt, angry, confused, feel like you have totally messed up your life beyond redemption, pulled apart by the way this world is now, just open up your heart to Jesus Christ. He is waiting to strengthen you and help you through this life and get you ready for the next life which will be beyond any joy and beauty you can imagine. How do I know this? 'Cause these are the promises of God in His manual, the bible, so don't be distracted and deceived by the way things are in the world now, they are not going to remain this way. Oh yeh you can call me crazy if you want to.

Crazy
by Mercy Me

Why I would I spend my life longing for the day that it would end..
Why would I spend my time pointing to another man..
Isn't that crazy

How can I find hope in dying, with promises unseen..
How can I learn your way is better
In everything I'm taught to be..
Isn't that crazy

I have not been called to the wisdom of this world..
But to a God who's calling out to me..
And even though the world may think
I'm losing touch with reality
It would be crazy
To choose this world over eternity

And if I boast let me boast
Of filthy rags made clean
And if I glory let me glory
In my Savior's suffering
Isn't that crazy

And as I live this daily life
I trust you for everything
And I will only take a step
When I feel You leading me
Isn't that crazy

I have not been called to the wisdom of this world..
But to a God who is calling out to me..
And even though the world my think
I'm losing touch with reality
It would be crazy
To choose this world over eternity

Call me crazy
You can call me crazy
Call me crazy

I have not been called to the wisdom of this world..
But to a God who is calling out to me..
And even though the world may think that
I'm losing touch with reality
It would be crazy, It would be crazy, It would be crazy
To choose this world over eternity

Isn't That crazy..
Call me crazy
You can call me crazy
Call me crazy

LoCTY!!!!!!!!!

PS Jesus loves you more than you can possibly imagine!

All For You!

Precious Saints!!!!

This past weekend saw me being part of a team of sinners saved by grace helping, leading and teaching others about God's grace. Yes it was another Alpha Holy Spirit weekend. What a joy to serve our Lord Jesus Christ the absolutely and completely greatest blessing in the universe.

But first let me back track a bit and I'll try to be as honest as I can with you. You see it was not in MY plan to serve on the Alpha team this year. I had planned to take a years mathematical (yeah George @Vodocom) from Alpha. But then I was invited ever so lovingly and graciously to serve by someone who I respect and love very much. I discussed it with Allie and we agreed that it would be okay. So off I went and was selected as a small group leader for the duration of the ten week course. Then of course some things went wrong. Allie fell very ill while I was on the Alpha and eventually resigned from her job. I felt a tremendous pull and often a bit guilty going off on Wednesday nights when I knew Allie was not too well. But I constantly prayed for strength and healing for both of us and the guys on team as well as my buddies were also praying for us. So I just kept at it. Before we knew it the weekend away was upon us. Now I had been struggling with a cold/flu and running a temperature off and on for about three weeks but because of all round pressure(specially at work) I just kept pushing on. That is until my body started screaming at my head and asking, "Hey is there a brain up there somewhere?" So eventually I surrendered and went to the doc who diagnosed me as having a triple whammy, flu, sinisitus and bronchitus. He then promptly booked me off for three days and gave me a prescription of anti-biotics, pain killers and cough mixture. Then I really thought I was ill. Well this happened in the week leading up to the Alpha weekend. I wondered if I was gonna make it to the weekend. Anyways I rested as much as I could and tried my best not to worry as to what was happening at work.

Friday came and I got out of bed at about 11am and slowly got ready for the weekend. Dressed and packed, my lift came around about 3.30pm and we were off. Needless to say I really wasn't that rearing to go and I didn't really feel like I was in top form. But you you know God is awesome. You just have to make the effort to pitch up, trust Him, be obedient, be faithful and you will be abosutely amazed at the way He uses ordinary people (like you and me) in an extraordinary way.

The weekend was an absolute blast of a blessing from God. I ended up also being the 'projector pixie', working the overhead transparencies for the words to the praise and worship songs. Not that the selfish( me selfish, no waze Jose!) part of me initially wanted to do it but....you know His Holy Spirit really knows wots good for you. Oh yeah and I made a fair amount of mistakes. The way God used people on this weekend and just the way that He was constantly at work was absolutely mind blowing. You just can't take it all in and for weeks afterwards you just think about things that happened and God just reveals things to you.

God the Father, Jesus the Son and the Helper God's Holy Spirit just constantly washed us with their Love and healed broken and hurting people. You know the best view in the world is to see God working in a person nothing compares to it, when God works in and through you to minister His grace mercy and love to others. Everything was just so purposeful, even the small things. The fellowship was blessed. We had four churches at the weekend, the Goodwood, Milnerton and Malmsbury Methodist churches and the Goodwood Roman Catholic Church. What a tremendous unity His Holy Spirit wove into us as we all worshiped God as one.

Well we all had to leave on Sunday and I was missing my family tremendously as well.Then that night we had a tremendous Celebration service at Goodwood Meth and then God used me again (no not my plan to be used or my idea) to minister His love after the service.

So wotz God calling you to do. Simple really. He's saying here receive my free gifts of grace, mercy and love. Soak them up in your soul and then go and pass them on to the rest of the world, do this where ever you find yourself and as often as you possibly can, don't worry if no one is around to see your good deeds 'cause God will see them. Don't worry about being in the so called 'right' place like a church just do it.




You surround me with singing
You restore me in Your grace again
I'm alive in You
You are faithful, Saviour
You are holy
And my trust is in the power of Your name
You remember mercy
You are near me
I have life again
Now I belong to You
I will lift my hands
I will lift my voice
All for You
It's all for You
Take up my cross
I surrender
All for You
It's all for You
Your Kingdom, Is rising
Use me I pray
Your Kingdom, Is rising
Use me I pray

LoCTY!!!

The Shadow of Death 2: My Brother

Precious Saints !!!!

So there I was relaxing on a Thursday evening looking forward to going on leave in a weeks time. When the death part of life suddenly happened to me. My brothers wife Libby phoned me at about 9.30pm from Johannesburg and calmly told me that my brother Clive had had a heart attack and passed away at 'bout 11am that morning, he was 54. Talk about being hit in the guts. I didn't know what to do or how to feel. While listening in disbelief, I cried, felt empty, shocked, numb, angry, dazed, confused you name it I felt it.

While listening to Libby, God's Spirit inside me just convicted me so deeply to go up to Johannesburg for the service and to spend some time with my brothers family. To be honest with you all I did not really want to go, I mean my brother and I were not even close, I don't really think anyone really expected it of me to go. It would be so much easier just to stay put here in Cape Town send my condolences along with flowers and a card. God just said to me you go, you are my mercy, you are my grace, you are my love. I still didn't really want to go it would just hurt too much.

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The Shadow of Death

Precious Saints !!!

Isn't it amazing that although we live with death every day of our life, we go to great lengths to avoid this fact. Mebbe we figure if we don't mention it or talk about it then it won't happen to us or to our loved ones. I mean nobody really wants to die do they? Well imagine going to a party and discussing whether you would prefer to be buried or cremated and/or sharing your self written eulogy with whoever cared to listen. Just think if you will, going around and reminding everyone that they might not see the sun coming up tomorrow. I somehow don't think you would be the life and soul of the party eh! Just think, going shopping for something to die in. Man that is just too droll and macabre to even imagine.

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Street Evangelism (5)

Phew another year gone past! A friend of mine at work said the older you get the faster time flies. Sometimes it certainly feels that way.
You know when I started working in partnership with God I use to think like I was kinda doing Him some sort of favour. You know a lot of you out there kinda think this way. It took me a while to realise that God does not need me but He wants me. He wants me to be part of His great work of salvation by His grace alone and man (lets mebbe use person to be politically correct…..naw) that is pretty mind blowing!
Why He wants me is ‘cause He wants to bless me by using me to bless others and what an incredible blessing that is.
I remember one night before we started out on the street. We prayed for the evening while sitting in the car. I felt so tired, flat and frustrated. I openly asked God for forgiveness and told Him exactly how I felt but that I would try my best with His help to be true to His will. Well that night was such a wonderful blessing. When we arrived at the Goodwood police station, our last stop for the evening, we always invite the policemen and policewomen to join us in prayer. Normally we get about three or four to join us. But that night just about everyone on the shift joined us. We had about sixteen or seventeen policemen and policewomen joining us in prayer. God the father just touched my heart in such a special way that night.
There are so many memories of this past year. One of our group one night said that we could actually be bringing God’s last offer of salvation to someone. That was a pretty sobering thought.
You know God is in the detail He controls the universe and all that is in it, right down to the particles that are smaller than an atom. I like to borrow something from the mathematicians here and their chaos theory. Within their chaos theory there is something called the butterfly effect. The meaning of this is that just one flap of a butterflies wings can change the whole course of world history. Well we pray when we go out on Friday nights that just a couple of pieces of paper will open peoples’ hearts to the awesome, incredible and saving grace of God, which is found in Jesus Christ. God the Father is just waiting and wanting to adopt more children into His family.
I wrote this little piece/thing/thought below which kinda sums up a whole whack of feelings that well up within me when I work in partnership with God.


On The Road

Black tar under bright lights
Cars rushing by
People brushing past
Danger and desperation
Around ever corner
Oh when I look into your eyes
I see the brokenness of your heart
Your mouth is smiling
And you are saying ‘happy’ words
But the smile doesn’t make it to your eyes
Oh please, please just open up your heart
And let Jesus in
He will take your broken heart and make it whole
He will help you carry your heavy load
He will give you all the love you can hold
You will live with Him in eternity
All your dreams will come true
Far beyond what you can imagine
Oh please, please as I silently pray for you
Just open up your heart
And let Jesus in
As I walk away again
I feel your pain
I feel your loss
You have kept your heart closed
And not let Jesus in
Fear and pride have won again
And my heart just breaks for you
I can only walk by faith
Try my best to do my Fathers will
My desire is to see you in heaven one day
Worshipping God with me
So I pray please, please Jesus
Help me, use me to help open up their hearts
To You

LoCTY !!!!!!(=Love of Christ To You)

The Father Heart of God

Precious Saints !!!!

I most times dunno how to convey how God 'speaks' to me. Sat on the bus next to a young guy (18) the other day and he was so excited as to how God has been speaking to him through scripture. You know I can imagine the looks and comments I will get when I tell some people that God speaks to me...."Really, have you been eating too much green cheese lately......Okay buddy who's your dealer? That must be some really serious stuff you're sniffing...... er what did you say your name was, Napoleon!"

So last night Allie went out with her sister and daughter to movies leaving me at home with Matthew. We had a blast! We watched a recording of Heartlines while we ate, this just happened to be about a father who runs away from home 'cause he lost his job and could not bear to tell his family. Then we played 'cars', car playing was interrupted from time to time by kung-poo (our version of kung-foo, which really stinks!) and telling really corny jokes. Man we were rolling on the floor doubled up in laughter. Then we went to bed (parents bed) and I read Mattie a story. When I'd read a bit to him he went to his own bed and I tucked him in and he asked me to pray for him. I prayed out loud and just thanked God for giving us our son and the time spent together and for His son Jesus who gave His life for us so that we could be with the Father and Son for eternity. Wow (heart bursting moment)talk about being in the classroom of the King.....

So yes God has been speaking to my heart (deep,deep down) and spirit about his father heart.God teaches me so much through the children (they are really His) that he has put in my life, to bless me. What have I done to deserve it, nothing really, its all His grace. Adam and Lisa are way adults now, making their own choices in life. You know when things are rocky and life just kinda is not going well you can always reach out to God and he will steady your ship and correct your course because He is your daddy.

I don't think there is a single one of us out there who have not been affected by our fathers. The good ones, the bad ones, the indifferent ones, absent ones, the ones who have died......and so many descriptions you can put in there for your fathers. One of the biggest obstacles for us humans with regards to a relationship with God is how our relationship with our father's are or have been.

I wish I could so easily say that I'm such a good father but often I'm not. I really mess up some times and I constantly need forgiveness all round.

At one stage in my life I really thought I'd blown any chance I'd have of fathering a child but God provided me with a chance. Allie so wanted us to have a child together and we were so happy when she became pregnant but then after 10 weeks she miscarried and we were devastated, we had named him(Allie was sure he was a boy) Daniel, I know now we'll meet him in heaven one day. We weren't Christians then so we did not take our grief to God, I just took my doubt and anger to Him. A couple of months later Allie became pregnant again and this time 9 months later on the exact due date Matthew was born.

There are so many nights when I'm the only one awake in our household and all I can do is look with wonder and awe at the family that God has given me. It's a good time to talk to God and just humbly thank Him, also just to ask for His grace, mercy and love for those of our family sleeping inside our house and those sleeping outside under another roof somewhere.

You know no matter what we like to say, think or do, we know that deep within us is a need to be deeply and unconditionally loved by a loving father, only God truly and fully satisfies that.

Yet some people accepted him and put their faith in him. So he gave them the right to be the children of God. They were not God's children by nature or because of any human desires. God himself was the one who made them his children. (John 1:12&13)
God's Spirit doesn't make us slaves who are afraid of him. Instead, we become his children and call him our abba (daddy) Father.God's Spirit makes us sure that we are his children. (Romans 8:15&16)

You Never Let Go (Matt Redman)
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won’t turn back
I know You are near
And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

Chorus:
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We’ll live to know You here on the earth

Chorus:

Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

LoCTY !!!!!!

PS And now I'm just gonna go and cry somewhere.........