So there I was on a Wednesday morning at work feeling grateful that our son’s (Adam my step son actually) operation on his lung was successful. He seemed to be starting on his way to recovery. Today he was going in for a checkup after coming out of hospital this past Monday. Then a phone call from Allie. Adam had to go back into hospital and had to have a further procedure done to him as his lung had pulled out of position again. Oh God what now, why are you allowing this to happen?
A little bit later after I’d transferred the funds to the hospital to effect payment, yeah no money no treatment, no matter how much pain. Ever heard of the Hypocritical Oath? I then sent out a prayer request for Adam. All of a sudden I had this all consuming feeling of loss, it was really crushing and I didn’t now how to deal with it. Eventually I went to the toilet and just wept before God and cried out to Jesus to have mercy on Adam. He is still so young and he wants to do so many things to give you glory oh Jesus, have mercy.
When I came back to my office I sent out a prayer request(for myself) to some of my close friends and phoned one of them and my buddy just encouraged me. Shortly after that one of my colleagues came by to pick up an account which had to be paid. He asked me how I’m doing and (still feeling quite shattered and fragile) I told him about Adam. He listened and commiserated with me. Then just as he was walking out of the office he turned back and said, “I think I must give you a hug.” So he came back and gave me a solid hug. I felt like it was God saying, “Don’t worry whatever happens its all part of my plan. I love you and I love Adam too with a love you cannot even imagine you are my children.” I was just quietly blown away by my colleagues show of love and the way God worked through him to touch my heart.
Well that evening we went to visit Adam in hospital along with a few friends and my buddy Clint also came along. Just before we left we prayed for Adam and Clint prayed for our family. Adam is such a witness to me of quiet and powerful faith as he praises God through all this.
Just know this sometimes it’s just a listening ear, a smile, a handshake, a hug, a prayer, it may seem such a little thing to you, you may even feel self conscious or stupid doing these little acts of kindness but it is probably just the thing that God wants you to do at the time.
For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. (Ephesians 2:10)
Here is a song 4 U by Jeremy Camp. His first wife died of ovarian cancer when she was 23 and he 22. He subsequently remarried and now has two young daughters. In this song he reflects on the journey that God has taken him on so far.
Beyond Measure (Jeremy Camp)
The fog has finally cleared to see,
The beautiful life you’ve given me
To feel the breeze of my newborn’s gentle breath
With one to walk hand in hand,
To share this life that you have plannedIt’s like a storybook with dreams
That are meant to see every next step is an extraordinary scene
I know that I’ve been,
Given more than beyond measure,
I come alive when,
I see beyond my fears,
I know that I’ve been given more than earthly treasure,
I come alive whenI’ve broken down and given you control
I’ve faced a great tragedy,
But have seen the works of what you bring
A display of faith that you give,
I don’t know if I will ever understand
The depth of what it is you’ve done inside,
But I know that I won’t find any worth apart from you
Everything that I have
Has been given so unselfishly
And shown that even when I don’t deserve
You always show the fullness of your love
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